Cover photo by Patrick Barry —


Welcome back, Hobos!

This jam-packed issue comes to you packed with jam.  It’s a little sticky.  We apologize.

Kudos to our loyal base of Hobo contributors, who sent us a record number of submissions for everybody’s favorite trans-fat free online absurdist humor journal!

With our third serving of scrumptious literary foodstuffs, we maintain the high level of quality you’ve come to expect with protracted prose, persistent poetry and graphics that just keep going. “A Nice Organic Tomato” reveals the dark side of ethical produce. “Valleys” continues our tradition of publishing poetry about your mom. “No Comment” explores the human component of sustainability and “Smack-Talk of the Town” unlocks immortality’s secrets with a little help from San Francisco’s infamous Chris Schiappacase.

If this issue doesn’t sate your hunger for Hobo Pancakes, pay a visit to the Hobo Jungle, our new blog.  We’ll be publishing amusements daily, Monday through Friday, with weekly comics, Obits From The Future, plus contributions from the likes of James Franco, Pope Benedict XI, and our very own celebutante, Jason Henry McCormick.  Yippee-kiy-oh-kiy-ay, Hobos!

With sustained sincerity,
The Hobo Pancakes Team

Letters to the Editor

No Comment
“Something About Sustainability”
by Kelly Anneken, managing editor

Salute Our Shorts
by Paul Lander & Patricia Mitchell
“Keep America Beautiful”
by David Martin

Screams & Grumbles
“University of Arkansas Bachelor of Literalism — Elective Course Options”
by Becky Cardwell
“2010 Other Census”
by John Mark Calahan

‘Graph Garden
by Michael Frissore
“Daycare Robber” & “Convenience Store”
by M.V. Montgomery
“The Funky Collection”
by Gabe Culberg
“Brain Science”
by Steven Miller

Annals of the Flesh
“I May or May Not Have Fucked A Dirty Hippie”
by Amber Powers

John Pavon Zone
“A wise drunk burped then said,” No more Elephants or Donkies” we want “human bean” in office!”
by John Pavon

The Palate Cleanser
“A Nice Organic Tomato”
by Karl Koweski

Articles of Faith
“Religious Boys”
by Hannah Reich
“Genesis Too”
by John McFarland

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!
“Musings of a West Coast Transplant”
by Randi Franklin
by Katie Hackmeister

Department of Etymological Nonsense
“Nothing Drive”
by Peter Gilbert

“To Kill A Deer”
by Nathaniel Tower

The Locker Room
“Soccer is Stupid”
by Andrew Jett

Climate Corral
“This Wacky Weather”
by Danger Slater

Division of Infrastructure
“Blended Family”
by James W. Morris

Department of Human Resources
“Diary of a Fisherman”
by Lou Gaglia
by Tyler O’Donnell
“The Jungle Gym Rapper”
by Matthew Dexter

The Scrotal Sector
“Beatrice Swenson’s Home Placenta Kit”
by Walter Flaschka

Iambic Ixplosion
by Rebecca L. Brown
“Dave the High Guy”
by Chaim Johnson
“Schlock as easy as a hemorrhaging hyena”
by Michael Brandonisio
“I Am Not Greek”
by G. David Schwartz
“Oh My Goth! (Gag Me With A Ruin)”
by John Rachel

Smack-Talk of the Town
“Chris Schiappacasse and the Fountain of Youth”
by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large

Photographic Evidence
“Kitty Dreams”
by Erica Singer