Issue 21: EvolutionEvolution_of_man_and_technology

Welcome back, homologous Hobos!

This issue migrated out of the primordial seas and developed lungs so it could teach you to laugh. For our twenty-first issue, we’ve gone big and chugged more primitive prose, prehistoric poetry, and adaptive artwork than you can shake a vestigial tail at.  Honestly, we’re still a little hungover, but here’s what we know for sure:

Jean Baptiste Lamarck (the evolutionary scientist time forgot) steps in to dispense advice in “Past Help.” “The Man Who Opted In” argues for the power of simply saying ‘yes,’ no matter the question, “Fangs for Nothing” bemoans the more pressing biological inconveniences of being a sort-of vampire, and “The Peristaltic Pleasures of Candy Crush Saga” suggests a surprisingly visceral reason for the game’s addictive popularity.  Resurrected managing editor Kelly Anneken’s “No Comment” makes a triumphantly weird return as she takes on creationism, and editor-in-chief Isa Hopkins examines the cultural genotype of multi-lingual rapper Pitbull.

So divide those cells, inherit a recessive trait, and naturally select yourself to enjoy Hobo Pancakes, the magazine that puts the “pun” in “Punnet Square.”

With evolutionary sincerity,

The Hobo Pancakes Team

No Comment

“Mardi Grasping at Straws”

by Kelly Anneken, managing editor

Salute Our Shorts: The News in Brief

by Paul Lander

Screams & Grumbles

“Who’s in the Yoga Class?”

by Charlie Bohem

“a sure thing”

by Maureen Kingston

“A Brief History of Charles Darwin”

by Allie Rizzo

Articles of Faith

“Excerpt from ‘Judges’ in the Old Testament”

by Rebis Kahler

“Under the Bodhi Tree”

by Spencer Sapienza

Annals of the Flesh

“From Sex to Virginity”

by Jeffrey Willett

“Head-Slapping Civility”

by Jesse Rawlins

Past Help

by Jean-Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet, Chevalier de Lamarck

The Palate Cleanser

“The Peristaltic Pleasures of Candy Crush”

by Jean Walton

“iKitchen Unleashed”

By Kelly Anneken

“Bright Rising Star”

by Katrina Johnston

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“The Man Who Opted In”

by L.V. Torio


by Carolyn Smuts and Steve Loring

Chronicles of Higher Education

“And What Is a Communications Major?”

by Chris McVetta

“Petition to Take the Course”

by Kevin Scott Cody

Literary Stylings

“The Writer’s Drug Dealer”

by Sonya Redi

“I’m Worried My Memoir Will Be Too Boring”

by David Kramer

Ancient History


by Kathleen Wolak

“From ‘Ass-Feeling’ to ‘Glass Ceiling: The Triumphant Evolution of Women in the Workplace”

by Frank Allbritten

Enchanted Affairs

“Fangs for Nothing”

by Stephen Starr

The Space-Time Continuum

“Duh Human ‘N’ Duh Robot”

by Andy Simmons


“Another Man”

by Yeji Lee

“Meatball Sandwich”

by Josh Rank

Department of Human Resources

“Evolution, As in Love”

by Greg Letellier

“At First Blush”

by Joseph Eastburn

The Scrotal Sector

“The Evolutionary Logic of Premature Ejaculation”

by Jason Half-Pillow

Childhood Traumas

“An Unlikely Candidate for an Orgy”

by B.T. Baker


by Lenny Levine

Department of Bad Trips

“How Yoga Led to Bath Salts”

by James Moran

Official Proceedings

“The Paul Revere and the Raiders Post Office”

by Christopher Warman

Judgment Day

“The Fall of Man”

by A.A. Garrison

“Last Gas”

by Stephen Faulkner

“Quikk Stop Drama at the End of the World”

by Paul Stevenson

Division of Infrastructure

“Know-It-All Parent Hotline”

by Em J. Lowe

“Bumper Cars and Handicarts”

by Carolyn Light Bell

“The Maturation of an Insomniac”

by Miranda Roehler

Musical Notes

“The Evolution of Cool”

by Bill Spencer

Iambic Ixplosion

“Get Your Shit Done”

by Stephanie Manova

“Ode to a Nosepicker”

by Dawn Herring

“Bovine Enlightenment”

“Haiku You”

by Peter Venable

“What Darwin Knew”

by Art Heifetz

“Salt Over the Left Shoulder”

by Timothy Pilgrim

“Rheumatoid Eye in 10 Key”

“…And the Silicon Placard Read”

by Michael Cantin

“letter to the other animals”

by Rose Betit

“Grandma Britney”

by Adam Bertocci

“Why Do We Always Stare At The Box”

by Spencer Sapienza


by Don Pomerantz

Smack-Talk of the Town

“Worldwide: Pitbull in a Post-Embargo Era”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-in-chief