Salute Our Shorts: The News in Brief

“NetFix: You’ll Flip Your Lid Over It!”
by Paul Lander

NetFlix today announced plans to employ its highly successful sales formula in the field of marijuana distribution with the opening of NetFix.  For a fee of just $250 a month, NetFix will mail out an initial packet of seven marijuana delivery systems (or, joints, as they are more commonly known.)  Customers will then mail back the used marijuana delivery system and another one will be sent out immediately.  For $350 a month, the customer can opt for the Bob Marley special package – “Rasta Reefer Madness” – that will include extra large-sized individually wrapped 100% Jamaican product and a collectible Marley commemorative “Roach Clip.”  Buyers will also be able to mix and match product from around the world.  Choices include: Maui Wowie, Tijuana Grass, Congo Cannabis and a special brand just for the ladies, Mary Jane Lite.  NetFix plans to begin advertising next spring with the slogan: NetFix: You’ll Flip Your Lid Over It.

Paul Lander is a partner at the Comedy Community


The Last Mento in My Pocket: Two Thumbs WAYYYYY Up
by Wade George

Originally located on the sweatiest portion of my inner thigh, the last Mento in my Pocket came as a complete surprise as I reached in to pull out my car keys. The body-heat emanating off my genitals did little to detract from the sweet, succulent flavor of “ripe melon” quite the opposite, in fact; the slow cooking that caused a running of the outside casing gave the delectable impression of attendance at a luxurious Hawaiian Luau. Likewise, the strands of lint woven into the sticky sugar gave one the impression that’s far from being forgotten the delicate treat had been carefully wrapped in soft bedding, just waiting to be awoken when the clock struck “yum.”

Wade George is a graduate from the University of Illinois English Department and a writer for The Chris Tabb Show.

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