The Random Thoughts of JHM

Random Thought: Montrealers

Last night I spoke in French with a young and pretty lady at a bar on St. Catherine street, the main drag in Montreal. It went down like this:

“Bonjour,” I said.

She said “Bonjour.”

“Jim apple Jason. Y tu?”

“He! He!”


She turned and left my life for good. The end.

Today I’m chatting with another one in Burlington, Vermont.

“May I have your number?” I say, grabbking for my cell phone in my pocket.

She smiles. “Oui,” she says, looking at the bulge of my hand or maybe of my johnson in my trousers.

Then I pull out my broke-ass Nokia cell phone, the Zack Morris model.

“Wait,” she says, “actually, um, nevermind.”

I’ll never see her again either.

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