Ask Papa Ratzi

Infallible advice from the Vatican’s very own love doctor!

Dear Pope,

My wife and I are about to celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and things have gotten a little bit… dull in the bedroom.  Do you have any tips to spice things up?

Sincerely,

Bored in Boston

Dear Bored,

A strong and healthy marriage blessed by the Church is a beautiful thing, second only to a life of celibate devotion to Christ.  However, too often in contemporary society we are tempted to view such a sacred bond through the lens of romantic passion, rather than its true purpose: to be a pale shadow of the procreative love of God.  Therefore, I recommend as a marital aid playing a bit of Gregorian chant (to get her “in the mood”) followed by a moment of prayer that your lovemaking might lead to what God intended: the creation of a new life.  There is, after all, no bigger turn-on than the prospect of increasing the numbers of the Catholic flock!

Yours in the Eucharist,
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Defender of the Roman Faith

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