Franco Fridayz

Dear Hobo Pancakes,

I’m writing to you for help.My grandson is a multi-disciplinary genius, but he is having trouble finding an artistic home.  It’s not easy to locate a place that will accommodate an actor/visual artist/writer like my James.  I know you don’t like cover letters, but I just want you to know that my grandbaby’s pedigree is legitimate.  He has several degrees and is working on his PhD in Literature at Yale.  Yale!  But many people simply do not understand his wunderkindness and write very nasty things about him on the world wide webiverse.  He doesn’t know that I’m writing to you- ”he would be very embarrassed to know that his Nana was “pimping him out,” as the neighborhood kids say- but I was wondering if you could include some of his work on your website?  Thank you very much in advance for your consideration of his work!

Gumdrop hugs and gingerbread kisses,

Nana Franco

Dear Nana Franco,We were going to set your cover letter on fire.  We hates them, precious Nana Franco, because they remind us of our own failings and inferiorities.  But then we stopped, because we remembered that we shouldn’t set our computer on fire.  We need it for making more delicious Hobo Pancakes.

More importantly, we realized that your grandson must be God’s gift to Judd Apatow and the world, James Franco!

We’d absolutely love to feature anything you have to send as a weekly feature on Fridays.  More pictures like this would be just fine.  And, look, it’s true that most critics don’t have much to say in defense of your grandson’s artistic and writerly expression, but here at Hobo Pancakes, we thumb our noses at convention and coherence!  Besides, how bad could it be?
Sincerely, The Hobo Pancakes Team

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