Issue 2: STEREOTYPES
Welcome back, Pancake aficionados!
We’ve been slaving over the griddle for months on this issue, so you better read it and like it, because there are illiterate kids in China who don’t have enough online absurdist humor journals to not read.
In this short stack, you’ll discover a conventional, by-the-numbers assortment of the world’s most out-there fiction, poetry and hard-hitting, heavy drinking opinion. “The Little Mermaid’s Revenge” suggests an ending to the Danish folk tale that doesn’t utterly suck. “go milf go” ponders the decade-old question: to bang or not to bang? “No Comment” unravels the French braid of blonde privilege, while “Smack Talk of the Town” explores the boundaries of contemporary funeral attire. And lastly (but not leastly) is the introduction of “John Pavon Zone,” featuring the cave scribblings of everyone’s favorite Hobo cartoonist.
So sit back, fish your brain fork out of the toilet and chow down on some Hobo Pancakes, where the snozzberries always taste like snozzberries.
With stereotypical sincerity,
The Hobo Pancakes Team
No Comment
“Blonde Like Me”
by Kelly Anneken, managing editor
Salute Our Shorts
by Paul Lander & Mark McCann
“Favorite American Hats”
by David Martin
“New Study Finds: Date Rape = Whatever”
by James Fluty
Screams & Grumbles
“Dating Form”
by Scott Erickson
“Author’s Note”
by Louisa Casanave
Annals of the Flesh
“RE: Gorgeous grrl lking for smthing casual”
by Jeremy Clymer
John Pavon Zone
“Olympic Dog Trainer and His Student”
by John Pavon
Articles of Faith
“Table Dancers”
by Michael A. Kechula
Chronicles of Higher Education
“Absurdist Mice”
by Finnegan Flawnt
No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!
“Go Suck an Egg”
by Elaine Acosta
Division of Infrastructure
“Dr. Gender Bender”
by John Rachel
Enchanted Affairs
“The Little Mermaid’s Revenge”
by Emily Leavitt
Are You Serious?
“No Kidding”
by Charlie Britten
“ALF”
by David Woodruff
Tabloid Fodder
“They Say It’s Your Birthday”
by Keith Buckley
Department of Human Resources
“Observations of a Portland People Watcher”
by Amanda Robinson
“Emo Emu”
by Aaron Zonka
“Ol’ G”
by Talos Virgin
The Scrotal Sector
“Walter’s Big Balls”
by Mike Jackson
Iambic Ixplosion
“go milf go”
by David E. Haase
“bev,” “love”
by David Schwartz
“Under Heaven”
by Noam Plumm
“In The Early Nineteen Sixties Wearing A Pink Shirt Was Considered Very Risque, or Hello Sailor (written in Polari)”
by Ben Nitt
Smack-Talk of the Town
“Shaun White for Target: The Funeral Collection”
by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large
Photographic Evidence
by Gudmunder Vigfussun