Image by Miles Cole --
Image by Miles Cole —

Welcome back, Pancake aficionados!

We’ve been slaving over the griddle for months on this issue, so you better read it and like it, because there are illiterate kids in China who don’t have enough online absurdist humor journals to not read.

In this short stack, you’ll discover a conventional, by-the-numbers assortment of the world’s most out-there fiction, poetry and hard-hitting, heavy drinking opinion. “The Little Mermaid’s Revenge” suggests an ending to the Danish folk tale that doesn’t utterly suck. “go milf go” ponders the decade-old question: to bang or not to bang? “No Comment” unravels the French braid of blonde privilege, while “Smack Talk of the Town” explores the boundaries of contemporary funeral attire.  And lastly (but not leastly) is the introduction of “John Pavon Zone,” featuring the cave scribblings of everyone’s favorite Hobo cartoonist.

So sit back, fish your brain fork out of the toilet and chow down on some Hobo Pancakes, where the snozzberries always taste like snozzberries.

With stereotypical sincerity,

The Hobo Pancakes Team


Letters to the Editor

No Comment
“Blonde Like Me”
by Kelly Anneken, managing editor

Salute Our Shorts
by Paul Lander & Mark McCann
“Favorite American Hats”
by David Martin
“New Study Finds: Date Rape = Whatever”
by James Fluty

Screams & Grumbles
“Dating Form”
by Scott Erickson
“Author’s Note”
by Louisa Casanave

Annals of the Flesh
“RE: Gorgeous grrl lking for smthing casual”
by Jeremy Clymer

John Pavon Zone
“Olympic Dog Trainer and His Student”
by John Pavon

Articles of Faith
“Table Dancers”
by Michael A. Kechula

Chronicles of Higher Education
“Absurdist Mice”
by Finnegan Flawnt

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!
“Go Suck an Egg”
by Elaine Acosta

Division of Infrastructure
“Dr. Gender Bender”
by John Rachel

Enchanted Affairs
“The Little Mermaid’s Revenge”
by Emily Leavitt

Are You Serious?
“No Kidding”
by Charlie Britten
by David Woodruff

Tabloid Fodder
“They Say It’s Your Birthday”
by Keith Buckley

Department of Human Resources
“Observations of a Portland People Watcher”
by Amanda Robinson
“Emo Emu”
by Aaron Zonka
“Ol’ G”
by Talos Virgin

The Scrotal Sector
“Walter’s Big Balls”
by Mike Jackson

Iambic Ixplosion
“go milf go”
by David E. Haase
“bev,” “love”
by David Schwartz
“Under Heaven”
by Noam Plumm
“In The Early Nineteen Sixties Wearing A Pink Shirt Was Considered Very Risque, or Hello Sailor (written in Polari)”
by Ben Nitt

Smack-Talk of the Town
“Shaun White for Target: The Funeral Collection”
by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large

Photographic Evidence
by Gudmunder Vigfussun