Letters to the Editor

Only a jerk would think that it is funny; but, for their work, writers must be given money!
-DrGKovacsFL

Dear DrGKovacsFL,
If you bothered to visit our website and learn about our organization, perhaps you would have discovered that we are two stand-up comedians.  In Oakland.  You, conversely, appear to be a doctor in Florida.  If you’d like to give us some money, we’d be happy to pay our contributors.  We aspire to pay our contributors!  Help us out, and one day, both of our dreams shall be realized.
-The Hobo Pancakes Team

I’m working on a story about a fat lady who puts her dog on a diet because the dog is overweight.
-Dick Bonzo

Dear Dick Bonzo,
Awesome.
-The Hobo Pancakes Team

Dear Hobo pancackes (espaniol accent),

Glad I read your disclaimer. I almost sent you poop.

Oh, yeah.

But then I didn’t.

That belongs in the toilet.  Along with opinions that most people have.  Especially mine.

Here’s one that can hang on the brim though:

What’s really going on?

Who thought I was going to say something of the opinionated form? Raise your hand. Okay, put it down.  Who thought opinionated was a word? I hella didn’t. But spell check left it without a red stage.

So I guess it’s Kosher.

I’m trying to write on globalization, to meet demands. I just created a task for myself and now I am pretending to be on deadline. OKAY HOBO PANCAKES. I’m writing!

Truth is, I just learned what globalization means 7 and a half minutes ago. I have wikipedia saved to favorites.  Want to know what else I have saved to favorites?

www.SuperagainstglobalizationBECAUSEiliveintheBAYAREAandliketobeagainstthings.com/hippie.yogafreak/gotohelltigerwoods

Yup. I’ve worn this trend hippie mask for many years. Deep down inside I could give a damn about anything other than myself. I used to wear fur coats just to feel the warm fuzzies on the inside.

Oh, wait. That was on the outside.

Just like some other things are on the outside. I am a pseudo give-a-damer

I leave the water on every morning while brushing my teeth. On purpose.  Smiling as I mentally calculate how many dolphins are going thirsty.

I take things out of the recycle bin to put them in the garbage.

I haven’t deicided if I am for or anti globalization yet.

I’m gonna wait to see who comes out with the cuter promo pins for me to clip tweed messenger bag.
-Miss Lady

Dear Miss Lady,
Thank you.  Just… thank you.
-The Hobo Pancakes Team