Infallible advice from the Vatican’s very own love doctor!
Dear Pope,
My wife just told me that she likes it “rough”. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Pat in Pittsburgh
My dearest Pat,
The primary purpose of human sexuality is for procreation. So long as your wife remains committed to this ideal, variability within one’s sex life is permissible by Church doctrine. Bear in mind, however, that many of the “sex toys” available today place pleasure ahead of procreative purpose, which is not to be abided. As the secondary purpose of human sexuality is to strengthen the sacred bonds of marriage, I recommend that you discuss with your wife what each of you might prefer, and how those preferences might fit into God’s plan. Off the top of my head, I can also recommend a game by the name of “Spanish Inquisition.” From what I hear, nothing gets the ladies revved up for a night of sacred physical intimacy like role-playing Galileo before the Heretics’ Council!
Yours in the Eucharist,
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Defender of the Roman Faith
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