The Random Thoughts of JHM

Random Thought: Air Jaws

Spring is time for you to get ready, to get pumped up for the third week of August: SHARK WEEK BABY!!!

With an underwater swim speed of light and a lunging ability of 7,000 feet, the Air Jaws creates a serious problem for objects in, on or over water. They go for anything. Anything. That includes everything, such as seagulls, flying seals, airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, hover boards (the Pit bull model, of course), UFOs, clouds, you, me, Peter Pan, etcetera. Don’t fuck around.

Air Jawsesi are usually found off the coast South Africa but are often seen everywhere where there’s water, which of course includes the Pacific Ocean, Half Moon and the San Francisco Bays, Lake Tahoe, Ponds, Pools, Bathtubs, Aquafina bottles and mouths. Water — any water — isn’t safe. None.

“Air Jaws is the real deal. If you ever see one within 7,000 feet of your location, then you might as well say your prayers and kiss your ass good-bye because it’s already too late and you will soon be munched,” says God.

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