The Random Thoughts of JHM

Random Thought: Interrogating God

I am sitting on the couch, chatting it up with God.

JHM: Have you ever snorted cocaine?

GOD: What the hell? No.

JHM: What is the meaning of life?

GOD: A twenty sack. Just kidding. Life is what you make of it. It is funny that people wonder about this kind of stuff. They always wonder about the meaning of life as something in the future, but never in the past. Life’s meaning is the same as its definition. Life’s definition is what defines you, and what defines you is your past, your experiences. It’s simple, really.

JHM: Word. Real talk, God. So. I assume you’ve played hide the salami at least once or twice. Will you tell us a story about it?

GOD: I dated this one little angel for a while. Boy, she was a real gem. Her name was Naomi. She wanted something serious and I could have given that to her, but I didn’t. I gave her The Almighty Dick instead. You know?

JHM: No.

God: See, because I am the only omnipotent being, there is nothing else that can really hang with Me.

JHM: Oh, I get it. You’ve got a knee-knocker. Figures.

GOD: Well, yes. But no, not because of That. Think of it this way, My Town is just too big for anyone else but Me.

JHM: Oh. What?

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