Issue 20: EAST/WEST

Welcome back, globe-trotting griddlecake gadabouts!  Our twentieth issue is one big yin/yang symbol.  Or maybe a bicoastal, nineties-style rap battle.  Strap into some swag and get ready to travel the world and transcend duality in the last issue before we just start showing up drunk every three months!

Issue two-zero comes at you with scintillating stories from all corners far and wide.  David Atkinson reveals the secret slacker history of one of America’s most beloved presidents in “The Declaration of Insufficiency: Getting Quality Work Out of ‘The Jeff’,” while Michael Fowler explores the flip side of Western consumerism in “How We Know Americans.”  Leah Bush rips the lid off Putin’s state secrets in “Shuttle Names Rejected by the Russian Federal Space Agency,” and editorial intern Ruth “Rooster” Flanagan tackles a query from a troubled dildo manufacturer in “Letters to the Editor.”  So go forth, explore, and blaze a trail across the geopolitical landscape of literary absurdism that is Hobo Pancakes.

With eastern and western sincerity,

the HP team

Letters to the Editor

by Ruth “Rooster” Flanagan, editorial intern

Screams & Grumbles

“Motivational Signs I Saw Spectators Holding While I Was Running the Pyongyang Marathon”

by Gary Almeter

“Do You Have A Minute For Dead Gay Lady Babies on Fire?”

by Mary Crosbie

Salute Our Shorts: The News in Brief

“Shuttle Names Rejected by the Russian Federal Space Agency”

by Leah Bush

“Ripping the Headlines”

by Paul Lander

Annals of the Flesh

“Professor X”

by Sagar Patel

“My GPS, My Love”

by Walter Levis

Consumer Affairs

“How We Know Americans”

by Michael Fowler

Articles of Faith


by Jack Bristow

“The Tell-Tale Hat”

by Nathan Poling

Department of Human Resources

“The Declaration of Insufficiency: Getting Quality Work Out of ‘The Jeff'”

by David Atkinson

“My Resume Says ‘Jeremy Humbert,’ but Ladies Usually Call Me the J-Man”

by Jean-Luc Bouchard

Literary Stylings


by Jason Half-Pillow

Unwanted Advice

“You Can Build A Real Life Here”

by Annah Feinberg

“The Spy Who Killed My Dog; or, 8 Tips on How to Survive in Russia”

by Rebecca Strong

Gone Commando

“Navy Beans”

by Graham Stephen


by Jerome Teelucksing

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“The Brady Bunch Turned Upside Down”

by Emma Macmillan

“Open Letter to My Babysitter Who Left Because Her Mother Was Sick”

by Samantha Rodman

Department of Bad Trips


by Lee Douglas

“Made in Japan”

by Samuel Adams

The Scrotal Sector

“eNotes from Underground”

by Haran X

Iambic Ixplosion

“Horses, whiskey, ropes”

by Timothy Pilgrim

“Lonely Suzie’s Cardinal Points”

by Peter Lingard

“Back Fired”

by Zachary Puente

“Spenserian Word Sonnet”

by Ross Knapp

“Paper or Plastic”

“The Higher Echelons of Swedish Society”

by Ross Wilcox

“Hawking Holy Books”

by Timothy Pilgrim

Smack-Talk of the Town

“Berkeley Bodhisattva”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-in-chief