Iambic Ixplosion

“Valleys”
by Rebecca Brown

Beneath the mountain
The wildflowers form a blanket-
I fucked your mother.

“Dave the High Guy”
by Chaim Johnson

Mr. Mailman
I see you out my window
I notice you putting milk on my sidewalk
No, I can’t talk to you I am much too busy

Hey Ms. Female Jogger
I see you out my rearview
I notice your precipitation
No, I can’t talk to you I am much too shy

Hello normal looking bank teller
I see you with my eyes
I notice your well groomed manner
No, I guess I’ll have to talk to you, although I am quite high

Greetings to the children at the park
I see you on the green grass
I notice your Existence.
No, I will not talk with you that is probably considered illegal

Hello again female Jogger
I still see you out my rearview
I notice you noticing me
No, I won’t return glances.  Why you might call the police

Hello Mr. Milkman
I finally say hello
What did you put in the milk of yours?
My mind is out of control

Why hello Baxter the Sheriff
I see you from my rearview
I notice you are a good guy
No, I found my car flipped from the sky

“I Am Not Greek”
by G. David Schwartz

I am not Greek
But I wish I was
Each and every time
everyone did discuss
Baklava, yes Baklava
My mom was short and my dad was talk
but each of them
enjoyed delicious Baklava
I was in the army
After I did high school
and before I went to college
I made  Baklava the rule
Bakla this and Bakla that
I’d carry Baklava in my hat
Lava that and lava this
I’d love to eat bit before a kiss
I am not Greek
that is true
but neither are a lot of you
But I say this, your know its true
nothing but Baklava is able to do
I am not Greek
But I wish I was
Then Nora Kaparalas would be my cous
and we could just sit and eat
That tweedier and oh so sweet
Baklava, Baklava
So discrete

“Schlock as easy as a hemorrhaging hyena”
by Michael Brandonisio

Be genuine be moral avoid complexity like the plague
hence no immoral Chicken Jones style action types
you are classic slick shoot ’em-up romances
psychological yet uncomplicated
characters in conflict with conflict
do it like an Indiana metaphor
hence no moral enriched Istanbul
that sack of tragedy adventure
away with relative E=MC squared
a multi-lingual Eskimo once said,
“We are local family-friendly television soul-rot middle finger.
Dark hell is like beautiful haunted soup.”

Be a page of rot you can depend on
have relationships between people & places that have death action
likewise insights — but then you can even have it both ways
you are doing it any old way — draw pictures of in-depth characters
craft crock and you prune meaning
explore a page with evil in the head
skip uncommon inspiration not yet archived
the audience is uninspired yet fantastic in the head evil
trust your instincts make them seem true to life Golems
do the mysterious kitchen sink teletubbies fusion
or that great soul centered metahysterics
under the deep structure involve logical surprises
your psychobabble tricky SFX inspirations
those Chicken Jones style breaking kneecap scenarios
picture multiple scenes that involve chases & payoffs
most of all make Fatty Arbuckle seem like a nice guy
a preference is for inspired killing
and a large shipment of soda poop
think healthy diet drinks and aspartame
think like the evil head in a fake masterpiece
it makes everything go down easier that evil head
it’s the stepfather who whips his boys good
the stuff that grandma cherishes in her retirement home

“Oh My Goth!! (Gag Me With a Ruin)”
by John D. Rachel

The laughing worm in obsidian slime
Wraps around the leg of the goddess
The goddess points at a shreiking macaw
As five goats peek out of her bodice
The sentry at court relieves himself
From a gargoyle attached to his hand
Bubbling water splashes onto the head
Of the queen seated proudly on a man
This man from waist to toe is a horse
Head and shoulders of a Neanderthal
His tongue hangs out like a huge clot of meat
A gaggle of nymphs try to reach for his balls
The nymphs all dance in wild abandon
Lips stretched to the base of their fronds
One’s legs are spread like an archer’s bow
With a mushroom growing out of her mons
Adonis kneels before the Oracle at Delphi
While his slaves crouch chained to a cart
Egyptian crocodiles gnaw on his leg
A giant eel squirms out of his heart
Zeus is holding the world in his right hand
While the left gives Aphrodite a feel
A dragon-faced fish sticks out of his mouth
As he crushes a cyclops with his heel
Ten columns from Corinth stand in a row
Three virgins are carved in each arch
The one in the center has the head of a lion
The other two look like aardvarks
Over all of this grows ivy in stone
A sinuous limestone spaghetti
And if any of you doubt what I’ve described
It’s right there at the J. Paul Getty